By ALEX ALVAREZ
Oye, fellow CHICA$! Mamis, lemme ask u a kuestion. R u r3aDy 2 B on TV? Duh, rite? Well, locas, have I got the oportunidad 4 u! Peep this kasting kall looking for “fiery, passionate, spanish speaking bi-lingual goddesses who are those beautiful, exciting, mami chulas NY is notorious for (sic)” to take part in a show called “Mi Vida Loca.” DALE!
When I got this casting call (“kasting kall”) in my inbox (from Doron Ofir, the guy who did Jersey Shore) I actually cracked up because they managed to hit every horrible stereotype ever (except “ay, dios mio!”). It was incredibly thorough in its stereotyping. So good job, I guess, fuckfaces.
— Hey, hippie girl, you Mexican? On both sides?
— Front & back, I say.
— You sure don’t look Mexican.
A part of me wants to kick their ass. A part of me feels sorry for their stupid ignorant selves. But if you’ve never been farther south than Nuevo Laredo, how the hell would you know what Mexicans are supposed to look like, right?
There are the green-eyed Mexicans. The rich blond Mexicans. The Mexicans w/the faces of Arab sheiks. The Jewish Mexicans. The big-footed-as-a-German Mexicans. The leftover-French Mexicans. The chaparrito compact Mexicans. The Tarahumara tall-as-a-desert-saguaro Mexicans. The Mediterranean Mexicans. The Mexicans w/Tunisian eyebrows. The negrito Mexicans of the double coasts. The Chinese Mexicans. The curly-haired, freckled-faced, red-headed Mexicans. The Lebanese Mexicans. Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say I don’t look Mexican. I am Mexican. Even though I was born on the U.S. side of the border.” —Sandra Cisneros “Caramelo” (via honeybrown)
Have I ever told you about how Dale Chilhuly is my actual mortal enemy?
TOTAL COSIGN, when i lived in PDX that shit was shoved the hell down our throats like every day and as the arts editor of a weekly i had to think about his stupid wack ass constantly. But also because glassblowing as a craft gets more credence and accolades because THE DUDE IS A DUDE, whatever, he’s making chandelier bongs.