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All I’m saying is, when Carrie (from Carrie) had a period accident (in the gym shower! and she thought she was dying!), it was the catalyst for her LIFE-ALTERING TELEKINESIS. Christina Aguilera (possibly) had one while singing Etta James, at Etta James’ funeral. HOW FUCKING TRANSFORMATIVE IS THAT?! This chick about to control the weather systems, and stop the Mayan Apocalypse.

She’s seen as wholly gross and grody right now, I mean I imagine so, based on the amount of appalled and interrobang-punctuated blog posts about it, but dudes, sometimes it happens. And it’s every girl’s worst nightmare to start our periods while wearing white jeans and sitting in junior high health class (at least that was my personal 13-year-old nightmare, never happened though). So we can all empathize. But also, what, do you want us to go live in a cave during Menstrual Week with a case of Summer’s Eve and a bucket of holy water? Are we going to excommunicate Aguilera for not properly chronicling/misinterpreting her cycle process? Nah. Get sanguine. Jesus died for your sins (TM), and it wasn’t all that dainty. Yatches stay bleeding. God bless the post-menopausal.

As previously reported, Christina Leg is the name of my dubstep riot grrrl band I’m forming right this second. Dibs, but also do you want to join though? Disclosure: we bite.