You’ve watched this Drake video. I have a pretty vocal opinion that Drake is a slight weiner but I love him both for it and regardless of it. He is at his weinerishest in this video, nerd joy and J.Lo leg orgasm face splashed all over it. Producer Mike Zombie basically made a Toronto Drive soundtrack, like if Johnny Jewel listened to dancehall/cared about subbass. (New adlibs I just made up based on the subs in this song: “wohrrr wohrrr,” “bom nrrreeerer.”)  I want Drake to tell me what brand of experience shower he owns, because one day I hope to purchase one. Bradford seems to be the most prominent maker of high quality aquatic vessels, I’m presently feeling their Experience Cabin most, with the VIP Suite basic as a perennial favorite, because #rave.

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    I don’t know if you think I was joking this morning, but I legitimately super love Drake in all his Drakeness. I think...
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